Even in the hit of feministic and right-equality movements, a vast number of women still feel inferior and less important when compared to the masculine gender. They feel they are at the mercy of men. A lot of women still feel men are doing them a favour when they approach them or propose to them. They feel they owe men appreciation and thanks for proposing to them or approaching them (this isn’t entirely wrong, but it is in this case because they do this with the unschooled mindset that it is men’s right, while it is only a privilege to them, the women).
The Bible never said “she who finds a husband finds a good thing” (this by no means implies that husbands are not good. It only means that the Bible places more emphasis on the value of women), but it says “he who finds a wife finds a good thing”. Let’s see proverbs 18:22 :
“He who finds a wife finds what is good, and recieves favour from the Lord”.
Did you see that? The moment you accept to be his wife, he has received favour from the Lord. The Bible didn’t say “he has received a person that has favour”. The Bible says “he receives favour”. As a woman, you don’t just have some favour inside you. You are favour! Your entirety is an embodiment of favour. When a man receives you, he has recieved favour. So now tell me; When that man kneels down and stretches a ring towards your finger, who should feel favoured? You or him? Him of course!
If we should go by biblical standards Women who jump in excitement and euphoria when a man kneels down and pulls out a ring are wrong to do that. They do this, while the men just merely put on a smile. Meanwhile, in God’s standard (we know his standards from the Bible), men should be the ones more excited when you say ‘yes’ to them (this will be proved as you read on). For heaven’s sake, they are the ones who just obtained favour.
In African communities (well it could be so in the western world but I haven’t been there so I won’t assume), subconsciously, women have been raised to see marriage as an accomplishment; a great one at that. To most women in this part of the world, marriage is an achievement. To them, the man has done for them one of the greatest favours ever, thus making them feel fulfilled. Women have been raised to see marriage as the ultimate goal of their life. They have been raised to see any man who wants to marry them as an agent of upliftment; a life saver. This wasn’t, isn’t and can never be God’s intention. A lot of women don’t know their place. They don’t know their value. They don’t know who they are. Well, how could they, when most of them have been looking at the wrong mirror often (the one on their room walls) and ignoring the right mirror (the Word of God).
Those convalescent with ancient love tales will understand the value of women better. In those days (this doesn’t imply that there was a time women in general knew their value and were treated in accordance with it. This only further points out concrete evidences of the importance of women), kings/royalties often fought wars merely for a damsel whom their hearts were after. When ever kings or men of renown were stopped from getting a woman they desired, they often would summon their army or armies and go to war (with the aim of getting back just a woman). In such wars, lots and lots of men (the soldiers) die. Lots of male lives are lost just to get one woman back. If the king involved comes out victorious in the war, he carries the woman back home rejoicing. He forgets all his male warriors lost in battle (some times these males aren’t even mourned) and he parties to celebrate just one woman he got back.
It is errorneous for a woman to be hyper-excited when a man proposes while the man only smiles or maintains a straight face. If someone should smile only, it should be the woman. If someone should be vibrating in excitement, it should be the man (sounds weird right? I know. That’s what happens when error becomes the norm. The right thing begins to look abnormal).
A lot of women who scream and jubilate when a guy proposes do this because it is trending (it is rather unfortunate that a lot of trending things are unbiblical). To them, when a guy stretches forth a ring to their finger, luck has shined on them. It’s now time to go crazy and flaunt it like other girls have done in the past. They don’t know it’s the man who should be going crazy. Let’s consider the case of Esther in the Bible. Esther was chosen by the king to be his queen. After she became his bride, he did the following :
Esther 2:18
And the king gave a great banquet, Esther’s banquet, for all his nobles and officials. He proclaimed a holiday throughout the provinces and distributed gifts with royal liberality.
From this Bible story, it’s clear who was celebrating; the King obviously. He didn’t just organise a banquet. He also declared a national holiday, all because he had married Esther. Trust me, this holiday must have tampered with the daily plans of a lot of men in the province including those of noble birth but who cared? The king just got Esther as his wife. That’s all that mattered.
Another tale of great importance being placed on a woman is the story of Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29:15-30). Jacob worked 7 years for Laban, just to marry his daughter Rachel. Unfortunately for Jacob, in the land where Laban was from, it was their custom for older female children to marry before their younger sisters and in this case, Rachel was the younger sister of Leah. Rachel was then given to Jacob for another 7 years of work. In all, Jacob worked 14 years to get Rachel (Infact the Bible said they were only like a few days to Jacob because he loved her).
As I said earlier, am by no means saying there once existed a time when women all over the world knew their value and were treated as such (Infact the reality that such a time never existed is a reason on it’s own to mourn). Am only pointing out the fact that God created women for far better reasons than most women know now or have ever known. It is now easier for the world (men most especially) to mistreat women since the women themselves do not place value on themselves.
The following remarks are commonly made today by women when speaking to themselves – “manage him oh. He’s not that bad. Good men are very difficult to find so just manage this one. He can change with time”. Permit me to inform you; God never created any woman to come to this world to ‘manage’ any ill-behaved man. God’s plans for every woman is good. God gave Eve a perfect man. God never gave Eve a man she was supposed to manage. Another error that has spreaded throughout the internet is an inscription that reads : “Stop looking for Mr. Right. Accept Mr. Left and drag the idiot to the right”. Dear women, I hope you haven’t been living by this principle. Only the HolySpirit can change people. You can not change that man! If on your own you try to drag the idiot to the right, the idiot will only end up dragging you to the left too. You will only end up being an idiot like him.
God has good plans for every woman and a good man is part of it. The problem doesn’t lie with God or the absence of good men. The problem of most women is impatience. Women want to ‘catch’ their own man by all means. In their hearts, they fix a particular period of time to tie the knot. They put pressure on themselves to marry at a given period of time. As a result of this, they ‘manage’ any man that comes during this period. Am a very big fan of early marriage but people (women most especially) should avoid being in a hurry to accept any ‘manageable’ spouse because their preconceived marriage time has arrived or because their peers are busy elsewhere getting married.
Women need to get busy finding themselves in Christ. The true identity of every human is in Christ Jesus alone. Get busy studying God’s Word and you will discover the exalted position God has placed you. As a woman in Christ, you are a King (yes. A king), a priest, a god, and a son of God. When you come to a point where you are settled in the consciousness of these truths, you go about daily knowing the value you have and men are left with no choice but to treat you honourably.
Before you accept to date that guy or marry him, be sure he’s aware of the favour he’s about to obtain. If he isn’t, my dear, he’s not worthy of you.
I hope this makes you wiser.
